the-cutter-who-lives

When I saw you
Again.
After all this time.
After all this “space” that you needed.
There was so much.

So much I wanted to say
To you.
I wanted to tell you how I felt.
How I was so empty and hurt.
How badly I missed you.
How many times I dialled your number
At one in the morning
But never called.
How I finally got over you.
How angry I was.
How many times I wanted to tell you
That you mean nothing to me now.

I wanted to show you
The damage you did.
The scars that emerged
When you left.
I wanted you to see the arms
I fell into
To replace your embrace.
And the bottles
I drained
To forget you.

There was so much.
Too much.
So when I saw you,
All I could do
Was smile
And say
“It’s been a while.”

But my eyes said it all. (via raumfahrer-rolf)